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Combaticus Wombaticus III's avatar

I research different cultures a lot, and a common comparison to British culture is Japanese culture, for its focus on politeness and etiquette. However, dig deeper and you’ll find that whilst there are similarities, the fundamental operating systems of the two are highly distinct.

In Japan, the fundamental core of politeness seems to be deference; the communication that one is aware of their position in the hierarchy, has the requisite degree of respect for those above them and more experienced, and is ready to fulfil their position in whatever system is in place. In other words, the goal of Japanese politeness is fundamentally to say “I know my place”, albeit usually in a less oppressive way than it can sound.

British politeness is different however, and the difference is most notable when you look at the classic 18th and 19th century ‘gentleman culture’. These days it’s masked by differences in language - people will hear the (autistic) Duke of Wellington criticise Napoleon’s “ungentlemanly manners and poor breeding” and think this is just standard aristocratic snobbery, similar to how the French would (and arguably still do) sneer at people for their choices in clothes, food, media etc. However, look at the context of the remarks however, and you’ll find that they aren’t in response to him not angling his cutlery correctly or whatever, but instead to him having hurled a bunch of abuse at his generals and staff and cancelled his planned birthday presents for his brother who had just lost Spain. This was effectively Wellington saying that this was a massive dick move, and his remarks about Napoleon’s ‘poor breeding’ was his way of saying that Napoleon was essentially a colossal bellend (which frankly he was). You’ll find the same in most other areas of British society at the time, where calls for ‘manners’ were really just a way of telling people to be nice, and this feeds through to the modern day. Unlike Japanese principles of deference, fundamentally British systems of politeness are constructed so as to be able to communicate what is needed to be communicated without causing any unnecessary offence - in other words, to not be a prick.

It’s funny how many of the people you describe would likely spend so much time banging on about supposed ‘British values’ when they seem to have forgotten the core one of politeness. I’ll join you in wishing the British-Somali lad all the best, and have no doubts that if he were still around today, Wellington would most certainly join us in telling the haters to f*** off back to France where they belong.

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Feral Finster's avatar

Humans first reach their conclusions ("them tribe not my tribe! Them tribe bad!)

Then they find the justifications. "Them tribe dance funny! Them tribe dance too good! Them tribe cultural appropriation!" It doesn't matter. Any stick to beat a dog.

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