Will you be my baby reindeer

Oh baby reindeer
I feel like a stalker around you
I could be 15 in my dad’s Subaru
Wondering if my UCAS was an excuse
to move to the country that birthed you

Baby reindeer I could be a lady guard
You, a shoplifter in my Sephora
My sense of duty zero to my sense of shame
I’d let you olaplex that baby reindeer hair for free

Baby reindeer I couldn’t admit
I bought that toy gun
Because you are just a boy and I no better than a nonce

Baby reindeer thank you
Writing without a broken heart
Is like playing squash without a wall

Baby reindeer my kink is erotic asphyxiation 
No touching
Just an airless room with you in it

Baby reindeer
What’s the weirdest thing you’ve ever masturbated to
You will never ever guess mine.