Will you be my baby reindeer

Oh baby reindeer

I feel like a stalker around you

I could be 15 in my dad’s Subaru

Wondering if my UCAS was an excuse

to move to the country that birthed you

Baby reindeer I could be a lady guard

You, a shoplifter in my Sephora

My sense of duty zero to my sense of shame

I’d let you olaplex that baby reindeer hair for free

Baby reindeer I couldn’t admit

I bought that toy gun

Because you are just a boy and I no better than a nonce

Baby reindeer thank you

Writing without a broken heart

Is like playing squash without a wall

Baby reindeer my kink is erotic asphixiation

No touching

Just an airless room with you in it

Baby reindeer

What’s the weirdest thing you’ve ever masturbated to

You will never ever guess mine.