Some big account must have linked to your writing recently and I must have subscribed when that happened but for the life of me I can’t remember how I found your writings. Wonderful stuff, though.
This may offer the author of this 'Stack some useful insight: I found her at about the time she wrote that most deliciously hilarious and tragic essay: "I Too Am An Unfuckable Hate Nerd" after it was shared by Rob Henderson. Since then, the psychological voyeur (sorry, I'm a psychotherapist) in me became instantly aroused and drawn in by the exhibitionist in her (Stella, you're a psychoanalyst's dream patient - unfiltered!). I'd bet that the same psycho-intellectual dynamic define many others among your most regular readers.
I feel like your future observations will be my most valuable in this “stack” because I now get a lot of new followers who maybe only read my last one or two posts, whereas you will always have the context of my first spelling and grammar mistake ridden word vomits
It's funny because that's exactly what I'm here for, plus "I Too Am An Unfuckable Hate Nerd" was my first read. I think you're quite right about the assessment that such a dynamic defines many of her readers, although maybe your language was a little too colourful for comfort, in my opinion.
Quite literally the first time I've subscribed based almost entirely on an About page. The message is good, the medium might be better, the vibe is A+ and evidently I have a lot to learn about expression in writing.
Gotta appreciate interesting things when you find them.
Two days later it occurs to me that I should be audacious and ask if you would have views on any of my recent work. I'm not seeking endorsement or public approval, only some DM'd opinions, "like this, dislike that" or heck, even, "terribly boring, couldn't get through any of them" etc. Fancy it?
I really enjoyed what I have read of your work so far. It is refreshing to hear someone talk about the whole rather than standing on the mount proclaiming the path.
Hi Stella, you write brilliantly for an "immigrant". Style and tempo are key. But when content matches form, now that's really something. Nietzsche is an exemplar of this. One gets an inkling, though, that the "unmasked" vibe you emit is just another mask... I guess I'll keep reading, and perhaps be proven wrong. My dad is from Thessaloniki, too, by the way.
Thank you Penelope, and that’s interesting about your dad 😌 I am certain I am more transparent, or capable of being transparent, than most people I know, but who can tell really?
It is interesting for me because Thessaloniki is not that big, and certainly did not use to produce as many immigrants as it does now (like myself).
Let's see, I have been writing this blog for over a year now and I have found it very helpful in making my self-conscious feelings bubble up to the surface.
Techincally my dad's parents were from Edessa & Veria but lived in Thessaloniki. They came to Australia in the 60s. You're right though, most immigrants came from elsewhere in Greece. My mum's side is from Ithaki & Aigio.
I'd love to hear more reflections from you on contemporary Greek culture in future pieces.
I'm an old married guy but it's heartening to hear from intelligent, interesting women even at my age. In part I worry about my GenZ nephews because women seem to have taken a rather dangerous turn with the MeToo thing, and I have two younger sisters who I've never been able to help along as much as I'd like to. And I think women in general have difficult choices to make and I'd like to know how they do.
As an introverted, prone to melancholy aspiring writer in my 40s (in my mother tongue, i.e. Italian) I'm very positively struck by your enthusiasm. Really.
Appreciate the honesty in admitting to being part of the problem - the professional managerial caste and their various meddling organizations who operate outside the realm of democratic accountability.
Wouldn’t kick you out of bed for eating crackers, may you find a man who is not a part of your caste.
I liked your admission of vulnerability and very real worries in your original article. But now it feels you're rowing back and saying you're above all that yourself and just writing like this to make the plebs lower down the totem pole feel better. You're entitled to change your mind very quickly, and I assume it's sincere, but I think it's a real shame.
"I am nonchalant about writing about female neediness online ... men still want to date me even if they read this newsletter"
I get that feminine and needy men can be off-putting to women, but it really doesn't work the other way around. I *highly* doubt any man interested in a loving relationship with you would find your original admission that you really want one at all off-putting.
I can see how it come across that way, but both can be true. I wrote the second piece because a lot of people seemed to take the dramatic tone to mean I truly believe I won’t find love or am not good enough etc etc I do believe I am able to write the first piece and feel ok with myself posting it online *because* deep inside I am confident in my self, if that makes sense. My second piece was in response to the comments under my first piece, rather than a rejection of the first. Either way, both are an exercise in artistic expression and this is not how I speak in real life, which is another thing that people seemed to misunderstand. Like I got a lot of comments assuming they can tell what I am like in real life by that piece and finding me lacking, so in that you are wrong- plenty of people already said they would be put off.
Thanks for the reply and certainly don't feel obliged to give another unless you feel like it. I didn't think you were being at all dramatic in the first place/I think those commenters probably need to chill a bit themselves.
I think you were simply illustrating very well something anyone who realises evolution didn't stop at the human neck knows. That casual sex comes relatively easily for attractive women but commitment is a tougher nut to crack (just as the reverse is true for men).
If you're confident you can overcome that hurdle, all power to you (most women do, after all, so you're almost certainly right about that). But the above still reads to me like you also think you're too hot to be troubled by the concerns of most women. But I thought the whole point of your first article was that looks only get women so far towards what they really want deep down. So I still don't fully understand why you're now exempting yourself from your own analysis.
So the point of the second is not to say “I can find a relationship because I feel confident in my attractiveness”, it says “I feel ok posting online about wanting a relationship and not having one because I feel confident I am attractive enough so that no one will say I am
Only single because I am unattractive”. Does that make sense?
It does! I didn't read many of the comments and I am surprised anyone would have interpreted your first article that way, but clearly my disagreement is with that interpretation rather than with you.
The feedback is useful for future posts! Not to mention very interesting that strangers have thought that much about my writing. It’s only the last few posts that have blown off and previously I didn’t get that many eye balls on them.
It’s probably too late to join this conversation, but, since noöne seems to have yet said it—too obvious?—and this post seems to be more or less about blantantly humiliating oneself ...
> Anybody with working eyesight and firing brain cells can tell I am at the top of the dating food chain. I like to write like a bottom feeder because I have been one and empathise with losers, outcasts and strivers more than effortless, pampered winners of life, but one look at me and you know I am no longer an unfuckable hate nerd. I have blossomed into a predator.
This, together with the title, reads to me as, “Yes, you, bottom feeder, I may express myself like you do, or like you wish you could get away with, precisely because I can afford it. Don’t be so extremely dumb as to forget that I am actually, stratospherically out of your league. Now go back to your bottom-feeding business and don’t pester me”.
It shocks me because I may be just that kind of person without “firing brain cells”, mostly due to having spent my whole life under a rock. But it’s okay—the truth hurts and I appreciate it.
Also, two decades ago I’d have shat my pants thinking of communicating in any way with someone you could see on the media.
I guess this counts as praising your “exoticness” (to whom anyway?), but I like your Scottish-, Spanish-, Italian-like, and basically anything other than English- or French-like _r_s. You can probably say _fork and knife_ without sounding rude.
The first time I heard you speak, I thought you were Spanish. Sorry!
When I learnt that you are Greek to say I was flabbergasted was a slight understatement. Intelligent, gorgeous (without being overtly sexual as many ladies of your age are) and above all, insightful in a world where the majority of people just don't give a fuck.
As a man in his late 50's I know that I'm out of your age range, but that's not gonna stop me from doting on your every word now that I've found these essays - and believe me, I'm going to spend a lot of time reading - I may not always comment on what I've read, but I will read them all. Oh, and not in chronological order either!
Some big account must have linked to your writing recently and I must have subscribed when that happened but for the life of me I can’t remember how I found your writings. Wonderful stuff, though.
I am glad you found my writing 😌 hope you stay
This may offer the author of this 'Stack some useful insight: I found her at about the time she wrote that most deliciously hilarious and tragic essay: "I Too Am An Unfuckable Hate Nerd" after it was shared by Rob Henderson. Since then, the psychological voyeur (sorry, I'm a psychotherapist) in me became instantly aroused and drawn in by the exhibitionist in her (Stella, you're a psychoanalyst's dream patient - unfiltered!). I'd bet that the same psycho-intellectual dynamic define many others among your most regular readers.
That made me giggle - I will tell my therapist
I feel like your future observations will be my most valuable in this “stack” because I now get a lot of new followers who maybe only read my last one or two posts, whereas you will always have the context of my first spelling and grammar mistake ridden word vomits
It's funny because that's exactly what I'm here for, plus "I Too Am An Unfuckable Hate Nerd" was my first read. I think you're quite right about the assessment that such a dynamic defines many of her readers, although maybe your language was a little too colourful for comfort, in my opinion.
You’re on to something here. If you’re going to have Basic Opinions, at least don’t talk like a guidance counselor.
Instant subscribe.
I am flattered xx
Can confirm.
Quite literally the first time I've subscribed based almost entirely on an About page. The message is good, the medium might be better, the vibe is A+ and evidently I have a lot to learn about expression in writing.
Thank you stranger
Gotta appreciate interesting things when you find them.
Two days later it occurs to me that I should be audacious and ask if you would have views on any of my recent work. I'm not seeking endorsement or public approval, only some DM'd opinions, "like this, dislike that" or heck, even, "terribly boring, couldn't get through any of them" etc. Fancy it?
I really enjoyed what I have read of your work so far. It is refreshing to hear someone talk about the whole rather than standing on the mount proclaiming the path.
Thank you for being here David !
Hi Stella, you write brilliantly for an "immigrant". Style and tempo are key. But when content matches form, now that's really something. Nietzsche is an exemplar of this. One gets an inkling, though, that the "unmasked" vibe you emit is just another mask... I guess I'll keep reading, and perhaps be proven wrong. My dad is from Thessaloniki, too, by the way.
Thank you Penelope, and that’s interesting about your dad 😌 I am certain I am more transparent, or capable of being transparent, than most people I know, but who can tell really?
Well it's not really that interesting, is it, but I thought I'd offer a point of connection 🙂
We're only capable of being as transparent to others as we are to ourselves, and who knows what we're hiding from ourselves...?
It is interesting for me because Thessaloniki is not that big, and certainly did not use to produce as many immigrants as it does now (like myself).
Let's see, I have been writing this blog for over a year now and I have found it very helpful in making my self-conscious feelings bubble up to the surface.
Techincally my dad's parents were from Edessa & Veria but lived in Thessaloniki. They came to Australia in the 60s. You're right though, most immigrants came from elsewhere in Greece. My mum's side is from Ithaki & Aigio.
I'd love to hear more reflections from you on contemporary Greek culture in future pieces.
You fucking rock! This was hilarious and my kind of zero fucks given! Keep it coming. 🙂
thank you Jessica :-) x
Good shit. Looking forward to more.
I'm an old married guy but it's heartening to hear from intelligent, interesting women even at my age. In part I worry about my GenZ nephews because women seem to have taken a rather dangerous turn with the MeToo thing, and I have two younger sisters who I've never been able to help along as much as I'd like to. And I think women in general have difficult choices to make and I'd like to know how they do.
As an introverted, prone to melancholy aspiring writer in my 40s (in my mother tongue, i.e. Italian) I'm very positively struck by your enthusiasm. Really.
Thank you, I hope it’s contagious x
Appreciate the honesty in admitting to being part of the problem - the professional managerial caste and their various meddling organizations who operate outside the realm of democratic accountability.
Wouldn’t kick you out of bed for eating crackers, may you find a man who is not a part of your caste.
I liked your admission of vulnerability and very real worries in your original article. But now it feels you're rowing back and saying you're above all that yourself and just writing like this to make the plebs lower down the totem pole feel better. You're entitled to change your mind very quickly, and I assume it's sincere, but I think it's a real shame.
"I am nonchalant about writing about female neediness online ... men still want to date me even if they read this newsletter"
I get that feminine and needy men can be off-putting to women, but it really doesn't work the other way around. I *highly* doubt any man interested in a loving relationship with you would find your original admission that you really want one at all off-putting.
I can see how it come across that way, but both can be true. I wrote the second piece because a lot of people seemed to take the dramatic tone to mean I truly believe I won’t find love or am not good enough etc etc I do believe I am able to write the first piece and feel ok with myself posting it online *because* deep inside I am confident in my self, if that makes sense. My second piece was in response to the comments under my first piece, rather than a rejection of the first. Either way, both are an exercise in artistic expression and this is not how I speak in real life, which is another thing that people seemed to misunderstand. Like I got a lot of comments assuming they can tell what I am like in real life by that piece and finding me lacking, so in that you are wrong- plenty of people already said they would be put off.
Thanks for the reply and certainly don't feel obliged to give another unless you feel like it. I didn't think you were being at all dramatic in the first place/I think those commenters probably need to chill a bit themselves.
I think you were simply illustrating very well something anyone who realises evolution didn't stop at the human neck knows. That casual sex comes relatively easily for attractive women but commitment is a tougher nut to crack (just as the reverse is true for men).
If you're confident you can overcome that hurdle, all power to you (most women do, after all, so you're almost certainly right about that). But the above still reads to me like you also think you're too hot to be troubled by the concerns of most women. But I thought the whole point of your first article was that looks only get women so far towards what they really want deep down. So I still don't fully understand why you're now exempting yourself from your own analysis.
So the point of the second is not to say “I can find a relationship because I feel confident in my attractiveness”, it says “I feel ok posting online about wanting a relationship and not having one because I feel confident I am attractive enough so that no one will say I am
Only single because I am unattractive”. Does that make sense?
It does! I didn't read many of the comments and I am surprised anyone would have interpreted your first article that way, but clearly my disagreement is with that interpretation rather than with you.
The feedback is useful for future posts! Not to mention very interesting that strangers have thought that much about my writing. It’s only the last few posts that have blown off and previously I didn’t get that many eye balls on them.
It’s probably too late to join this conversation, but, since noöne seems to have yet said it—too obvious?—and this post seems to be more or less about blantantly humiliating oneself ...
> Anybody with working eyesight and firing brain cells can tell I am at the top of the dating food chain. I like to write like a bottom feeder because I have been one and empathise with losers, outcasts and strivers more than effortless, pampered winners of life, but one look at me and you know I am no longer an unfuckable hate nerd. I have blossomed into a predator.
This, together with the title, reads to me as, “Yes, you, bottom feeder, I may express myself like you do, or like you wish you could get away with, precisely because I can afford it. Don’t be so extremely dumb as to forget that I am actually, stratospherically out of your league. Now go back to your bottom-feeding business and don’t pester me”.
It shocks me because I may be just that kind of person without “firing brain cells”, mostly due to having spent my whole life under a rock. But it’s okay—the truth hurts and I appreciate it.
Also, two decades ago I’d have shat my pants thinking of communicating in any way with someone you could see on the media.
I guess this counts as praising your “exoticness” (to whom anyway?), but I like your Scottish-, Spanish-, Italian-like, and basically anything other than English- or French-like _r_s. You can probably say _fork and knife_ without sounding rude.
https://iv.datura.network/watch?v=B97haFTU4DE
I've never had any interest in a relationship. I don't even talk to my parents.
I will be anything that you want. Preferable anything that you need!
The first time I heard you speak, I thought you were Spanish. Sorry!
When I learnt that you are Greek to say I was flabbergasted was a slight understatement. Intelligent, gorgeous (without being overtly sexual as many ladies of your age are) and above all, insightful in a world where the majority of people just don't give a fuck.
As a man in his late 50's I know that I'm out of your age range, but that's not gonna stop me from doting on your every word now that I've found these essays - and believe me, I'm going to spend a lot of time reading - I may not always comment on what I've read, but I will read them all. Oh, and not in chronological order either!
wow. you are a fucking loser.
So, was this a helpful comment?