Some big account must have linked to your writing recently and I must have subscribed when that happened but for the life of me I can’t remember how I found your writings. Wonderful stuff, though.
This may offer the author of this 'Stack some useful insight: I found her at about the time she wrote that most deliciously hilarious and tragic essay: "I Too Am An Unfuckable Hate Nerd" after it was shared by Rob Henderson. Since then, the psychological voyeur (sorry, I'm a psychotherapist) in me became instantly aroused and drawn in by the exhibitionist in her (Stella, you're a psychoanalyst's dream patient - unfiltered!). I'd bet that the same psycho-intellectual dynamic define many others among your most regular readers.
I feel like your future observations will be my most valuable in this “stack” because I now get a lot of new followers who maybe only read my last one or two posts, whereas you will always have the context of my first spelling and grammar mistake ridden word vomits
I'm an old married guy but it's heartening to hear from intelligent, interesting women even at my age. In part I worry about my GenZ nephews because women seem to have taken a rather dangerous turn with the MeToo thing, and I have two younger sisters who I've never been able to help along as much as I'd like to. And I think women in general have difficult choices to make and I'd like to know how they do.
As an introverted, prone to melancholy aspiring writer in my 40s (in my mother tongue, i.e. Italian) I'm very positively struck by your enthusiasm. Really.
I liked your admission of vulnerability and very real worries in your original article. But now it feels you're rowing back and saying you're above all that yourself and just writing like this to make the plebs lower down the totem pole feel better. You're entitled to change your mind very quickly, and I assume it's sincere, but I think it's a real shame.
"I am nonchalant about writing about female neediness online ... men still want to date me even if they read this newsletter"
I get that feminine and needy men can be off-putting to women, but it really doesn't work the other way around. I *highly* doubt any man interested in a loving relationship with you would find your original admission that you really want one at all off-putting.
I can see how it come across that way, but both can be true. I wrote the second piece because a lot of people seemed to take the dramatic tone to mean I truly believe I won’t find love or am not good enough etc etc I do believe I am able to write the first piece and feel ok with myself posting it online *because* deep inside I am confident in my self, if that makes sense. My second piece was in response to the comments under my first piece, rather than a rejection of the first. Either way, both are an exercise in artistic expression and this is not how I speak in real life, which is another thing that people seemed to misunderstand. Like I got a lot of comments assuming they can tell what I am like in real life by that piece and finding me lacking, so in that you are wrong- plenty of people already said they would be put off.
Thanks for the reply and certainly don't feel obliged to give another unless you feel like it. I didn't think you were being at all dramatic in the first place/I think those commenters probably need to chill a bit themselves.
I think you were simply illustrating very well something anyone who realises evolution didn't stop at the human neck knows. That casual sex comes relatively easily for attractive women but commitment is a tougher nut to crack (just as the reverse is true for men).
If you're confident you can overcome that hurdle, all power to you (most women do, after all, so you're almost certainly right about that). But the above still reads to me like you also think you're too hot to be troubled by the concerns of most women. But I thought the whole point of your first article was that looks only get women so far towards what they really want deep down. So I still don't fully understand why you're now exempting yourself from your own analysis.
So the point of the second is not to say “I can find a relationship because I feel confident in my attractiveness”, it says “I feel ok posting online about wanting a relationship and not having one because I feel confident I am attractive enough so that no one will say I am
Only single because I am unattractive”. Does that make sense?
It does! I didn't read many of the comments and I am surprised anyone would have interpreted your first article that way, but clearly my disagreement is with that interpretation rather than with you.
The feedback is useful for future posts! Not to mention very interesting that strangers have thought that much about my writing. It’s only the last few posts that have blown off and previously I didn’t get that many eye balls on them.
It's so hard to take anyone seriously who poses like that. The insouciant smouldering affectation is still so common and hasn't reached mass cringe yet.
So this is interesting. You are from Greece. You move to London to work for Labor. Then to US to work for Bernie. And now you are back working for labor and (as you say) goody two shoes things?
Is it safe to say that your only loyalty is to progressive politics, irrespective of the nation? And you consider yourself wise enough to know how these progressive policies will impact the lives of people in, say, remote Devonshire or rural Texas?
I’d be interested in knowing why you think yourself qualified to work on legislation (or whatever) that impacts people of whom you know nothing and with whom you have no sort of cultural connection.
Some big account must have linked to your writing recently and I must have subscribed when that happened but for the life of me I can’t remember how I found your writings. Wonderful stuff, though.
I am glad you found my writing 😌 hope you stay
This may offer the author of this 'Stack some useful insight: I found her at about the time she wrote that most deliciously hilarious and tragic essay: "I Too Am An Unfuckable Hate Nerd" after it was shared by Rob Henderson. Since then, the psychological voyeur (sorry, I'm a psychotherapist) in me became instantly aroused and drawn in by the exhibitionist in her (Stella, you're a psychoanalyst's dream patient - unfiltered!). I'd bet that the same psycho-intellectual dynamic define many others among your most regular readers.
That made me giggle - I will tell my therapist
I feel like your future observations will be my most valuable in this “stack” because I now get a lot of new followers who maybe only read my last one or two posts, whereas you will always have the context of my first spelling and grammar mistake ridden word vomits
Instant subscribe.
I am flattered xx
Can confirm.
You’re on to something here. If you’re going to have Basic Opinions, at least don’t talk like a guidance counselor.
You fucking rock! This was hilarious and my kind of zero fucks given! Keep it coming. 🙂
thank you Jessica :-) x
Good shit. Looking forward to more.
I'm an old married guy but it's heartening to hear from intelligent, interesting women even at my age. In part I worry about my GenZ nephews because women seem to have taken a rather dangerous turn with the MeToo thing, and I have two younger sisters who I've never been able to help along as much as I'd like to. And I think women in general have difficult choices to make and I'd like to know how they do.
You had me at carbohydrate. Subscribed.
thank you Kev !
As an introverted, prone to melancholy aspiring writer in my 40s (in my mother tongue, i.e. Italian) I'm very positively struck by your enthusiasm. Really.
Thank you, I hope it’s contagious x
I liked your admission of vulnerability and very real worries in your original article. But now it feels you're rowing back and saying you're above all that yourself and just writing like this to make the plebs lower down the totem pole feel better. You're entitled to change your mind very quickly, and I assume it's sincere, but I think it's a real shame.
"I am nonchalant about writing about female neediness online ... men still want to date me even if they read this newsletter"
I get that feminine and needy men can be off-putting to women, but it really doesn't work the other way around. I *highly* doubt any man interested in a loving relationship with you would find your original admission that you really want one at all off-putting.
I can see how it come across that way, but both can be true. I wrote the second piece because a lot of people seemed to take the dramatic tone to mean I truly believe I won’t find love or am not good enough etc etc I do believe I am able to write the first piece and feel ok with myself posting it online *because* deep inside I am confident in my self, if that makes sense. My second piece was in response to the comments under my first piece, rather than a rejection of the first. Either way, both are an exercise in artistic expression and this is not how I speak in real life, which is another thing that people seemed to misunderstand. Like I got a lot of comments assuming they can tell what I am like in real life by that piece and finding me lacking, so in that you are wrong- plenty of people already said they would be put off.
Thanks for the reply and certainly don't feel obliged to give another unless you feel like it. I didn't think you were being at all dramatic in the first place/I think those commenters probably need to chill a bit themselves.
I think you were simply illustrating very well something anyone who realises evolution didn't stop at the human neck knows. That casual sex comes relatively easily for attractive women but commitment is a tougher nut to crack (just as the reverse is true for men).
If you're confident you can overcome that hurdle, all power to you (most women do, after all, so you're almost certainly right about that). But the above still reads to me like you also think you're too hot to be troubled by the concerns of most women. But I thought the whole point of your first article was that looks only get women so far towards what they really want deep down. So I still don't fully understand why you're now exempting yourself from your own analysis.
So the point of the second is not to say “I can find a relationship because I feel confident in my attractiveness”, it says “I feel ok posting online about wanting a relationship and not having one because I feel confident I am attractive enough so that no one will say I am
Only single because I am unattractive”. Does that make sense?
It does! I didn't read many of the comments and I am surprised anyone would have interpreted your first article that way, but clearly my disagreement is with that interpretation rather than with you.
The feedback is useful for future posts! Not to mention very interesting that strangers have thought that much about my writing. It’s only the last few posts that have blown off and previously I didn’t get that many eye balls on them.
I love everything about this. I'm in.
It's so hard to take anyone seriously who poses like that. The insouciant smouldering affectation is still so common and hasn't reached mass cringe yet.
Apologies, I meant to also say that I concur with your statement about your repellent narcissism. I’ll enjoy reading your little efforts, methinks.
So this is interesting. You are from Greece. You move to London to work for Labor. Then to US to work for Bernie. And now you are back working for labor and (as you say) goody two shoes things?
Is it safe to say that your only loyalty is to progressive politics, irrespective of the nation? And you consider yourself wise enough to know how these progressive policies will impact the lives of people in, say, remote Devonshire or rural Texas?
I’d be interested in knowing why you think yourself qualified to work on legislation (or whatever) that impacts people of whom you know nothing and with whom you have no sort of cultural connection.
8-10 anywhere
You love it.
I couldn't give two shits about the latest & greatest "current thing", but I do care where humanity has been and the future direction it is headed.
https://youtube.com/@Archaix138