“Some of us are becoming the men we wanted to marry.” - Gloria Steinham.
I discovered that quote when I was 16 and have happily lived by it ever since. It is SO freeing to marry based purely on how cute/nice a bloke is, and is probably why we’ve lasted 30 years together so far.
Some say women resent men who cannot (or will not, or do not) provide for them. They say even a completely self-sufficient woman wants her man to be able to provide for her totally if she were to lose everything. There's even an entire online sub-culture of women who, no matter how much they earn, demand to be provided for.
It is amazing. I think it stems from the economics of the times we are living in and these women growing up seeing their moms and aunts struggling as single moms and being taken advantage of by men. There's a lot of talk like, "we're tired. it's time for us to rest in our femininity".
"The default for ambitious good-looking women is to transfer their ambitions onto successful men. You take care of your desirability, and he takes care of your status anxiety. If you opt out, you are on your own."
--- No, you're not. You can find a man who matches your ambitions and the 2 of you can be a "power couple".
Either there are not enough such men, or most ambitious good-looking women don’t find them attractive. Otherwise, it couldn’t be the default for the latter to transfer their ambitions onto successful men.
Jesus! Whats up with these comments?! 😂 it’s entertaining if anything. Thank you Stella; as always a brilliant piece and a great angle of a battle of feminine and masculine in women.
Poor girl. The zeitgeist is that majority of women are deprived of what makes them happy and fulfilled.
Woman, no matter how smart, strong and ambitious will never be at her place competing with smart, strong and ambitious men.
Its just entirely different games than what is aligned with feminine nature. Ultimately women who get in and play these games are unhappy, angry and miserable.
But its all ok. Everything will find its balance eventually. And everyone can find their own if they follow their heart on their path.
Well, she did recently write this: "He had met another girl in a night out and drunkenly left a note for his sober self. Ethically, it was a fine thing to do. I lived on another continent, but the soft animal inside us doesn’t care about humanity’s autistic moral codes."
Maybe some of us do find happiness in gender fluidity but for my wife and I, polarity is the strength of our relationship. My wife tells me all the time how grateful she is that she has not had to have a job in over 10 years. She loves being at home with the kids and even though my job is dangerous and hazardous, I find it oddly fulfilling that I can provide her with the life she has always dreamed of. After 12 years of marriage she still makes love to me with great passion and that makes it all worth it.
Trust me there is more dignity in just leaning into your femininity. I am a man in my thirties and I have a job in manufacturing, my wife gets to stay home with the kids while I go to work. She loves it. She will probably outlive me by at least 10 years because of the abuse I put my body through to provide for them. I understand women are more vulnerable but being a woman has its advantages.
Maybe I did not understand every detail but I believe I understood enough. You thought you wanted to be a lion like the boys then you saw the girls in their fairy costumes and you were jealous of them. I am just trying to reinforce your conclusion. Be content being with the girls. Each sex has its advantages and disadvantages in that way we are all equal.
“Some of us are becoming the men we wanted to marry.” - Gloria Steinham.
I discovered that quote when I was 16 and have happily lived by it ever since. It is SO freeing to marry based purely on how cute/nice a bloke is, and is probably why we’ve lasted 30 years together so far.
Some say women resent men who cannot (or will not, or do not) provide for them. They say even a completely self-sufficient woman wants her man to be able to provide for her totally if she were to lose everything. There's even an entire online sub-culture of women who, no matter how much they earn, demand to be provided for.
Amazing. None are friends of mine, so I pay them no mind.
It is amazing. I think it stems from the economics of the times we are living in and these women growing up seeing their moms and aunts struggling as single moms and being taken advantage of by men. There's a lot of talk like, "we're tired. it's time for us to rest in our femininity".
Oh lady, here's your script right here: https://youtu.be/QAb6z4evmuE?si=oLf5eX933ufR2AGb
My husband calls it my All-Shall-Love-Me-And-Despair mode. I definitely aspire to that vibe.
Also, Khaleesi that first time she brings down the rain of fire and burns down all of the slave ships. :)
Sadly, you do seem to need either magic or dragons, not too many real-life examples.
Hahahahhaha. I am just a living embodiment of Freud’a theories.
"The default for ambitious good-looking women is to transfer their ambitions onto successful men. You take care of your desirability, and he takes care of your status anxiety. If you opt out, you are on your own."
--- No, you're not. You can find a man who matches your ambitions and the 2 of you can be a "power couple".
_If_ she can be attracted to a man who puts up with that arrangement, as opposed to proudly demanding the monopoly on ambition.
"puts up with"?
--- There are plenty of men out there who encourage their women in their ambitions and love to see them shine.
Either there are not enough such men, or most ambitious good-looking women don’t find them attractive. Otherwise, it couldn’t be the default for the latter to transfer their ambitions onto successful men.
Maybe. I guess it depends on the socio-economic circles one circulates in.
Personally I don’t think God made women submissive. That’s the patriarchy, baby! Ruining things for everyone since who knows how long.
as JS Mill said, how can we know who women are when we've only defined them by how they compare/relate to men
Jesus! Whats up with these comments?! 😂 it’s entertaining if anything. Thank you Stella; as always a brilliant piece and a great angle of a battle of feminine and masculine in women.
Get a job and do something useful with your life and stop worrying about competition.
Poor girl. The zeitgeist is that majority of women are deprived of what makes them happy and fulfilled.
Woman, no matter how smart, strong and ambitious will never be at her place competing with smart, strong and ambitious men.
Its just entirely different games than what is aligned with feminine nature. Ultimately women who get in and play these games are unhappy, angry and miserable.
But its all ok. Everything will find its balance eventually. And everyone can find their own if they follow their heart on their path.
More power to you :)
Tell me you don’t engage enough with autistic people without telling me you don’t engage enough with autistic people:
Well, she did recently write this: "He had met another girl in a night out and drunkenly left a note for his sober self. Ethically, it was a fine thing to do. I lived on another continent, but the soft animal inside us doesn’t care about humanity’s autistic moral codes."
Maybe some of us do find happiness in gender fluidity but for my wife and I, polarity is the strength of our relationship. My wife tells me all the time how grateful she is that she has not had to have a job in over 10 years. She loves being at home with the kids and even though my job is dangerous and hazardous, I find it oddly fulfilling that I can provide her with the life she has always dreamed of. After 12 years of marriage she still makes love to me with great passion and that makes it all worth it.
Trust me there is more dignity in just leaning into your femininity. I am a man in my thirties and I have a job in manufacturing, my wife gets to stay home with the kids while I go to work. She loves it. She will probably outlive me by at least 10 years because of the abuse I put my body through to provide for them. I understand women are more vulnerable but being a woman has its advantages.
You understood nothing but thank you for your comment.
Maybe I did not understand every detail but I believe I understood enough. You thought you wanted to be a lion like the boys then you saw the girls in their fairy costumes and you were jealous of them. I am just trying to reinforce your conclusion. Be content being with the girls. Each sex has its advantages and disadvantages in that way we are all equal.
Some of us get to be both! I would be depressed if I weren’t.