Love what your grandfather did for you when you were seven. And his picture (I think that is him) is precisely what I imagined of a man who would be that wise.
I'm another leftie who is a small ‘c’ conservative. I love my country, my flag, I served in the Navy and the conservative parties over here and over there appal me. I don't understand why there aren't more of us.
It’s interesting seeing the whole spectrum of Stella’s writing. She writes about her personal life in an introspective, tender and almost shy fashion. Whereas her writings on her career, her politics and her opinions of cultures are raging spitfire howitzers that shred everything (and everyone) in their path.
I noticed that a lot of women my age are supremely confident - almost egotistical - about their careers, their political opinions and how hot they are. But they’re often insecure about their love/sex lives and their relationships with their parents.
I think a lot of young women are well on their way to conquering many aspects of their lives that they have control over, but are frustrated and hurt by the aspects that they can’t control (and never will be able to).
For Stella, she took an aspect she couldn’t control (the cultural and generational rift with her mom) and channeled into an arena where she did have control (British politics and media). Freud may have something to say about that, but I’m inspired but how she took something constricting and limiting and turned it into something that’s passionate and productive.
Gosh, that cut close to the bone haha. I often think about that, how control over career and other things is displacement for lack of control in my personal life, my romantic relationships, yes, but also my relationship with my parents and my mom in particular. I wish there was an easy solution. With a lot of people, I think a big problem is not acknowledging that in ones self, not admitting that it sucks to be hurt in relationships etc when they are the most important thing for you.
One thing I take from this is that you can't be an extremist even if you want to. And you can't be a purist even if you want to. You're a walking bundle of sweet contradictions!
I hope you are right Charlatan, I am often worried about the dangers of going off the rails because of my constant strong feelings about everything. Thanks for reading and your insightful comments, as ever.
I think if you were at any time in your life in real danger of "going off the rails..." it'd be in your dangerously perilous teenage years. If you somehow managed to hang on even then, I doubt very much that you're at a comparable risk now that you are not only older and wiser but also in a better place existentially.
Also, there's some force of personality that seems to push you dangerously close to the edge, yet there's a counterforce that always act to pull you back just in time. Of course, this inferences are based on limited knowledge and they may not be nuanced enough. But I think this particular article reveals just another fundamental dimension of your personality which allows me to then reason from psychological first principle.
I've come back to this comment in the last week when at times, I felt a sudden fear I may be teetering close to some imaginary edge (in my public political stuff mostly) to remind myself my instincts are probably sane, good and to be trusted
You are hysterical, bemusing, sexy and filled with an obnoxious grace. You are a wonderful contradiction. Please, never stop writing. You always make my day.
yeah don't do public schoolboys Stella from much experience and from an oooold gal...they are age 7 emotionally-all of them. So many don'ts....Find someone useful like a plumber/builder/car mechanic. The roadside repair guys are THE best-born saviours :))
Yeap, I am intuitively status sensitive like all humans. Measuring status on my own scale of course. But, when I drill down on every issue, I still fall on the left and believe egalitarianism to be the only way forward.
Yes, I’m quite similar. I’m permanently slightly pissed off that my status isn’t higher, because my intelligence is, I believe, pretty high. So it annoys the hell out of me that being born into a given situation is more impactful than actual cognitive capacity.
I also know that, ultimately, my life is pretty pleasant so it’s not really worth worrying about.
So it’s perfectly possible to be conscious of status while carrying egalitarian instincts.
I’ve gradually got more right wing, but in a very British way; it’s got nothing to do with guns or religion. I’ve just started to find that a gently right-leaning view comes with less emotional baggage. I feel more comfortable dealing with what IS, rather than what SHOULD BE.
Power is power and I think egalitarianism is a visceral reaction to the inherent unfairness of how it’s distributed. I will always feel that.
But I’ve also come to see that there is no socio-political structure that can alter that natural way of things.
I think a lot of people feel like this. Though on the point of holding a more right-wing viewpoints being more pleasant, while true, I agree with Matthew Yglesias that progress depends on not being satisfied with justice existing, complacency is not a virtue, even if feels nicer in the moment: https://www.slowboring.com/p/what-the-left-gets-right
It’s a great article and I agree with a lot of it. To be clear, I absolutely believe in excellent healthcare and education for all, because I don’t want to live in an inhumane society.
Where I lean right is in promoting self-empowerment AS WELL. I offer a free CV Surgery, helping people to write their own CVs. I can get people to attend because I have a small following on LinkedIn. But the vast majority of people who see the ads don’t take up the offer; they don’t even investigate it.
That’s frustrating and suggests that people would rather complain about their problems than solve them. Because of this, I’m increasingly drawn to addressing that uber-problem – why don’t people bother taking the opportunities in front of them?
It’s not that leaning right feels nicer, it’s that it feels more effective.
Ideally, we’d have a society that protects the unfortunate, while preparing them to take opportunities and work with them. Where I’m put off by the messaging of the left is where it promotes immutable victimhood and self-pity.
I saw something on Twitter, and that some people wrote about it, but I confess I did not click on anything cause lately I have been going hard at my political commentating media grift and my day job, so I have been neglecting dating discourse for British politics. What's your take on them?
Bumble removed the billboards and apologized. Dating apps, red-pillers, incels and right-wing media are shell-shocked that women aren't interested in sleeping with men and having babies anymore. Yet none of them can put 2 and 2 together as to WHY.
The "male loneliness epidemic" is good for women's health and safety.
Love what your grandfather did for you when you were seven. And his picture (I think that is him) is precisely what I imagined of a man who would be that wise.
It is him indeed (and he used to love it when I would post his photos online and tell him how many people liked them!)
Speaking for all strangers on the internet, thanks for your poetry.
aww thank you William :-)
here for the mum content
This was a good read - it’s always interesting to see someone write out how they’ve arrived at their worldview.
thank you!
I'm another leftie who is a small ‘c’ conservative. I love my country, my flag, I served in the Navy and the conservative parties over here and over there appal me. I don't understand why there aren't more of us.
humans contain multitudes !
Why do you think it's conservative to love one's own country?
I think it's unfashionable for lefties to love their country. They are more likely to treat everyone (and everywhere) as equals.
One doesn't cancel out the other. Both/and not either/or.
It’s interesting seeing the whole spectrum of Stella’s writing. She writes about her personal life in an introspective, tender and almost shy fashion. Whereas her writings on her career, her politics and her opinions of cultures are raging spitfire howitzers that shred everything (and everyone) in their path.
I noticed that a lot of women my age are supremely confident - almost egotistical - about their careers, their political opinions and how hot they are. But they’re often insecure about their love/sex lives and their relationships with their parents.
I think a lot of young women are well on their way to conquering many aspects of their lives that they have control over, but are frustrated and hurt by the aspects that they can’t control (and never will be able to).
For Stella, she took an aspect she couldn’t control (the cultural and generational rift with her mom) and channeled into an arena where she did have control (British politics and media). Freud may have something to say about that, but I’m inspired but how she took something constricting and limiting and turned it into something that’s passionate and productive.
Gosh, that cut close to the bone haha. I often think about that, how control over career and other things is displacement for lack of control in my personal life, my romantic relationships, yes, but also my relationship with my parents and my mom in particular. I wish there was an easy solution. With a lot of people, I think a big problem is not acknowledging that in ones self, not admitting that it sucks to be hurt in relationships etc when they are the most important thing for you.
One thing I take from this is that you can't be an extremist even if you want to. And you can't be a purist even if you want to. You're a walking bundle of sweet contradictions!
I hope you are right Charlatan, I am often worried about the dangers of going off the rails because of my constant strong feelings about everything. Thanks for reading and your insightful comments, as ever.
I think if you were at any time in your life in real danger of "going off the rails..." it'd be in your dangerously perilous teenage years. If you somehow managed to hang on even then, I doubt very much that you're at a comparable risk now that you are not only older and wiser but also in a better place existentially.
Also, there's some force of personality that seems to push you dangerously close to the edge, yet there's a counterforce that always act to pull you back just in time. Of course, this inferences are based on limited knowledge and they may not be nuanced enough. But I think this particular article reveals just another fundamental dimension of your personality which allows me to then reason from psychological first principle.
I've come back to this comment in the last week when at times, I felt a sudden fear I may be teetering close to some imaginary edge (in my public political stuff mostly) to remind myself my instincts are probably sane, good and to be trusted
Stella, if you don't mind, I'd like to have your email. There's something id like to share with you privately.
I talk to lots of humans, and consider ideology to be a short-circuit to critical thinking.
Also, stray kittens should get homes to rule over.
You do a wonderful job on GB news with the last of the gentlemen, Jacob Ress Mogg. Keep it up you’re very good!
thank you Lauren :-)
You are hysterical, bemusing, sexy and filled with an obnoxious grace. You are a wonderful contradiction. Please, never stop writing. You always make my day.
how kind :') will do my best x
I think you're perfect. 🩵
Thank you Axon !
yeah don't do public schoolboys Stella from much experience and from an oooold gal...they are age 7 emotionally-all of them. So many don'ts....Find someone useful like a plumber/builder/car mechanic. The roadside repair guys are THE best-born saviours :))
wise words Anna
It looks to me like you just love the elite and elitism.
That’s not a criticism. There’s nothing wrong, per se, with loving those things. This is just an observation of mine from your various pieces.
Does it square with your own observations?
Yeap, I am intuitively status sensitive like all humans. Measuring status on my own scale of course. But, when I drill down on every issue, I still fall on the left and believe egalitarianism to be the only way forward.
Yes, I’m quite similar. I’m permanently slightly pissed off that my status isn’t higher, because my intelligence is, I believe, pretty high. So it annoys the hell out of me that being born into a given situation is more impactful than actual cognitive capacity.
I also know that, ultimately, my life is pretty pleasant so it’s not really worth worrying about.
So it’s perfectly possible to be conscious of status while carrying egalitarian instincts.
I’ve gradually got more right wing, but in a very British way; it’s got nothing to do with guns or religion. I’ve just started to find that a gently right-leaning view comes with less emotional baggage. I feel more comfortable dealing with what IS, rather than what SHOULD BE.
Power is power and I think egalitarianism is a visceral reaction to the inherent unfairness of how it’s distributed. I will always feel that.
But I’ve also come to see that there is no socio-political structure that can alter that natural way of things.
I think a lot of people feel like this. Though on the point of holding a more right-wing viewpoints being more pleasant, while true, I agree with Matthew Yglesias that progress depends on not being satisfied with justice existing, complacency is not a virtue, even if feels nicer in the moment: https://www.slowboring.com/p/what-the-left-gets-right
It’s a great article and I agree with a lot of it. To be clear, I absolutely believe in excellent healthcare and education for all, because I don’t want to live in an inhumane society.
Where I lean right is in promoting self-empowerment AS WELL. I offer a free CV Surgery, helping people to write their own CVs. I can get people to attend because I have a small following on LinkedIn. But the vast majority of people who see the ads don’t take up the offer; they don’t even investigate it.
That’s frustrating and suggests that people would rather complain about their problems than solve them. Because of this, I’m increasingly drawn to addressing that uber-problem – why don’t people bother taking the opportunities in front of them?
It’s not that leaning right feels nicer, it’s that it feels more effective.
Ideally, we’d have a society that protects the unfortunate, while preparing them to take opportunities and work with them. Where I’m put off by the messaging of the left is where it promotes immutable victimhood and self-pity.
Has your mom considered therapy? She sounds like she is deeply unhappy. Not that parents listen to their adult children, which I know from experience.
lol, she would never but I wish she would
Absolutely brilliant. Have no idea who you are but I am so happy I found you.
Stella have you heard about the Bumble billboards begging women to stop being celibate?
I saw something on Twitter, and that some people wrote about it, but I confess I did not click on anything cause lately I have been going hard at my political commentating media grift and my day job, so I have been neglecting dating discourse for British politics. What's your take on them?
Bumble removed the billboards and apologized. Dating apps, red-pillers, incels and right-wing media are shell-shocked that women aren't interested in sleeping with men and having babies anymore. Yet none of them can put 2 and 2 together as to WHY.
The "male loneliness epidemic" is good for women's health and safety.
Honestly I have been coming to this conclusion lately in my personal life too.